Sal Paradise
Hooligan
It was a beautiful fall day, the day I would have died Sunny, calm winds and puffy clouds. Yardsales going on.
I am writing to you guys from the second half of my life, or my other life , or the life I almost never got. I don't know. I haven't procesed what just happened and I don't want to either. I'm fine, my bike is fine. But for the grace of God and good luck you'd never know why I dissapeared. 30 minutes ago...how I was killed, smeared onto the highway in a mass of blood and broken motorcycle parts. It didn't happen by inches, millisecons - luck and grace. As if i had just been paid back for every good thing I ever did in one lump. It was like this -
I took the old Suzuki up to my neighborhood gas station for a drink. Its only 1/4 mile but its across a busy 4 lane intersection with overstressed drivers barreling though .I put the gas in, reset the Odo and puttered back out to the light to cross back. I was and always am a bit impatient at this light. Its a long slow one with turning lanes and delays between each red and green.It got to be 150 feet wide in both directions. I wait at the light, push in the choke, look at the tach, notice the idle speed is a little high. There was a small car ahead of me waiting to pull out and turn left on the highway, and I was going to follow but go straight across. Green light.
Highway traffic stops.The car ahead of me goes.. I look left and right.. ...the cars coming the other way start to pull out. I am looking to see if they are turning across or going. I release the clutch and start to go. From my left peripheral vision a red van comes flying into the intersection at 60 mph right into my path. Reflexes take over and I stop the bike. The van blows through the space between me and the car that went..where I would have been in a half a second. I feel the wind from him inches off my front tire. I am stopped .. I am fine... in shock. The realization of what almost happened flashes in my mind. Certain Death. A 60 mph T Bone.
As I stand there shocked a car coming the other way rolls up next to me and through the open window the drive says the first words I hear instead of being dead. Instead of blackness and pain and my wife and kids all crying at my funeral I get to hear this guy say - " YOU ARE ONE LUCKY SON OF A BITCH!" I say nothing. He pulls to the shoulder and stares at me. The red van pulls to the shoulder and stops. The van driver waits for me to do something I guess, call the cops or beat his ass. But I do nothing. I take a breath and start to shake a little . He is a Mexican guy in a Red Dodge Caravan. Every car is now stopped , 20 cars or so waiting staring, people in the gas station staring. The witnesses.
I look left. A pedestrian 10 feet away on the sidewalk says " Good thing you saw him!" I nod. He isn't moving . He is in shock too. Adrenaline and shock are coming hard to me. I realize my light is still green. Everyone is waiting. I let out the clutch and ride 2 blocks home in shock.
My wife puts the bike away for me. The bikes are away, the garage is closed lights off locked. I am shaking as I type this . I was a second away from certain death. I do not know if I will ever ride again. Maybe Probably. But different.
This is another life. I AM one lucky son of a bitch. Instead of being put in a body bag right now I am sitting at home. My wife will be back home soon. My son has his first college football game to go to today, 350 miles away. He plays Tuba in the band. I am thankful it will be a great day for him instead of a terrible day. I will see him in 2 weeks at the UConn game. I will go to a BBQ this afternoon and no one will know how thankful and happy to be standing on my own feet I am....happy to be in front of them instead of annihilated on the road, a bad story and tears, and memories and questions....I won't tell them how thankful I am to be there.
I can tell you because you ride.
I AM ONE LUCKY SON OF A BITCH
Watch the fucking intersections guys. If there is one open lane , you never know if a car could come barreling though,
I am writing to you guys from the second half of my life, or my other life , or the life I almost never got. I don't know. I haven't procesed what just happened and I don't want to either. I'm fine, my bike is fine. But for the grace of God and good luck you'd never know why I dissapeared. 30 minutes ago...how I was killed, smeared onto the highway in a mass of blood and broken motorcycle parts. It didn't happen by inches, millisecons - luck and grace. As if i had just been paid back for every good thing I ever did in one lump. It was like this -
I took the old Suzuki up to my neighborhood gas station for a drink. Its only 1/4 mile but its across a busy 4 lane intersection with overstressed drivers barreling though .I put the gas in, reset the Odo and puttered back out to the light to cross back. I was and always am a bit impatient at this light. Its a long slow one with turning lanes and delays between each red and green.It got to be 150 feet wide in both directions. I wait at the light, push in the choke, look at the tach, notice the idle speed is a little high. There was a small car ahead of me waiting to pull out and turn left on the highway, and I was going to follow but go straight across. Green light.
Highway traffic stops.The car ahead of me goes.. I look left and right.. ...the cars coming the other way start to pull out. I am looking to see if they are turning across or going. I release the clutch and start to go. From my left peripheral vision a red van comes flying into the intersection at 60 mph right into my path. Reflexes take over and I stop the bike. The van blows through the space between me and the car that went..where I would have been in a half a second. I feel the wind from him inches off my front tire. I am stopped .. I am fine... in shock. The realization of what almost happened flashes in my mind. Certain Death. A 60 mph T Bone.
As I stand there shocked a car coming the other way rolls up next to me and through the open window the drive says the first words I hear instead of being dead. Instead of blackness and pain and my wife and kids all crying at my funeral I get to hear this guy say - " YOU ARE ONE LUCKY SON OF A BITCH!" I say nothing. He pulls to the shoulder and stares at me. The red van pulls to the shoulder and stops. The van driver waits for me to do something I guess, call the cops or beat his ass. But I do nothing. I take a breath and start to shake a little . He is a Mexican guy in a Red Dodge Caravan. Every car is now stopped , 20 cars or so waiting staring, people in the gas station staring. The witnesses.
I look left. A pedestrian 10 feet away on the sidewalk says " Good thing you saw him!" I nod. He isn't moving . He is in shock too. Adrenaline and shock are coming hard to me. I realize my light is still green. Everyone is waiting. I let out the clutch and ride 2 blocks home in shock.
My wife puts the bike away for me. The bikes are away, the garage is closed lights off locked. I am shaking as I type this . I was a second away from certain death. I do not know if I will ever ride again. Maybe Probably. But different.
This is another life. I AM one lucky son of a bitch. Instead of being put in a body bag right now I am sitting at home. My wife will be back home soon. My son has his first college football game to go to today, 350 miles away. He plays Tuba in the band. I am thankful it will be a great day for him instead of a terrible day. I will see him in 2 weeks at the UConn game. I will go to a BBQ this afternoon and no one will know how thankful and happy to be standing on my own feet I am....happy to be in front of them instead of annihilated on the road, a bad story and tears, and memories and questions....I won't tell them how thankful I am to be there.
I can tell you because you ride.
I AM ONE LUCKY SON OF A BITCH
Watch the fucking intersections guys. If there is one open lane , you never know if a car could come barreling though,
Last edited: