Damn Kids

[strokerlmt]

Children are a product of their parents and they will in most cases only be as good as their parents. So if the parents don't bath, eat fast food shit all the time, watch R rated movies with the kids, use bad language, fight hit and dress like slobs or hookers, drink smoke do drugs around the kids the kids will end up like their useless parents. If you are going to be a moron idiot useless parent do everyone a favor and have your tubes tied or get a vasectomy and allow the rest of us with great kids to enjoy life and public places.
LMT

 

[marthruxton]

If you don't have your own kids, you don't know shit about this subject. You are like a person who has never owned or driven a car, who has never lifted the hood or turned a wrench, you are like that guy giving a mechanical diagnosis.

The behavior of children in the presence of their parents is a function of the parent/child relationship.It is the relationship dynamic manifesting in the behavior.There are two aspects to this - modeling behavior and relationship dynamic, for example dominance/ power or guilt and bribes versus respect/ love.

I never spanked them or beat my boys. I did act respectful of them and of others in front of them.It was had to use self discipline to be a good example. See its really about self discipline. I always showed utmost respect for their mother in their presence. I would never insult her in front of the boys. Never. I pump her gas while she sits in the car. See? Respect. I refrained from the F bomb in the house.

I also - and this is critical - refused to play head games or negotiate with them when they were little. For example ; I did not ever try to convince them to go to bed, as some parents did. Rather I would state the truth - it is bed time - bed time is now and therefore you must be in your room, in your bed and quiet. No debate or negotiating. How can you debate time? Its impossible. This is just one example, but it begins when they are small.

The father behavior example is important. Modeling. Relationship = respect Thats important. No negotiating or convicing the kids I am their best friends. I simply am dad. Dad is to be respected but he always has your best interest at heart. Dad even puts your interests above his own. But you must respect and do as you are told. This is non negotiable. I find that young boys do well under benevolent dictatorship..... Emphasis on Benevolent.

Thats about all I had to do - 3 for 3 polite young men.

I have three grown kids and a grandchild. After having been doing this for 25 years, I feel that many kids come pre wired right out of the box. In you case you might be very lucky.You have good kids. I know many parents that tried to do as you suggest and much more only to have very difficult children.

 

[RoyNC]

So the real question lies in where did the Grandparents screw up to raise kids who themselves would raise unruly children? Is it a generational thing or is it something passed down in families? Either way, nothing is worse than a child who acts out and and the parents turns a blind eye. We should have national testing before allowing people to procreate.

 

[Kirkus51]

As a confirmed bachelor, I shouldn't have an opinion, but I do.

Just from observation I feel that any parent has done a good job raising their kids if they don't grow up to be felons. 99% of all kids are pretty damned good kids.

There are places I avoid. I never sit down at a McDonalds or any fast food place. It's to go for me. I won't go see a movie that's G rated at a theater. PG or R for me. Hell I usually wait til it comes out on video.

The only times I have intervened has been when I've seen kids abuse animals. I can't stand that and I will step in every time.

 

[sweatmachine]

you gotta have a license to drive a car, good credit to get a loan, a permit to build a house, but any fucking moron can have a baby

 

[Sal Paradise]

Yep. Works like this mostly;

Idiocracy

 

[Skeeter]

I know and it's an embarrassment to my generation.

both of us bret. im only 26 but theres a few out there at are parents

 

[hankmarx]

Yep. Works like this mostly;

Idiocracy

I was a set dresser on that film, one of the harder projects I have ever worked on.

Shot right here in Austin, Texas!

 

[sweatmachine]

I like that movie. Nice work Mark!

 

[gcrider]

I have no children of my own, but spend my days in bicycle shops (hey, it's my job) so I'm around kids of all ages a lot. They scare me. Most parents today deserve to be beaten for the way they have raised their kids. Notice I didn't say beat the kids, I said beat the parents. That being said, I got an ass whoopin' whenever I acted out as a kid. Did I like it then? Hell no. Am I glad now that I got 'em then? You bet.

I have a couple of friends that have truly unruly/disrespectful kids. They run all over the parents. Occasionally I'll take the kids out to run an errand or for a snack. I put up with NO B.S. The kids learned early on that the rules are different when they're with me than when they're with their parents. We get along and they behave better. As soon as we get home the insanity resumes. I've told the parents I see the kids as FF's (Future Felons). They laugh it off. Hopeless wankers as parents they are.

 

[KingBear]

I think it's an overly-simplified solution to a complex problem. Not all bad kids are the result of bad parenting, and not all good kids are the result of good parenting. Many parents do the best they can with kids that are incorrigible. And parenting is not necessarily a thing that comes naturally, many people were never taught and don't know how to learn to control their kids. Hell, many don't even know how to meet their kid's basic needs. I also draw a distinction between a crying baby and a misbehaving child. They are very different things, but to most people they are one in the same.

I am very fortunate to have had a good-natured child, especially since I was a single parent for many years, her mother having left us when my daughter was just five years old and was little use as a mother for years before that. I wouldn't have had the first clue how to deal with a troubled child.

Even though I hate seeing parents who don't make any attempt to control their kids, I also feel sorry for parents who seem to do everything they can to no avail. Their frustration and angst are hard to imagine.

 

[tezza]

those of you who think kids should be good all the time ,are you fucking insane.try bringing them up these days with all the outside influences. are you a good and perfect adult every day all day . if you said yes you are lying .a 5yr old dosnt know wtf they are doing half the time.lifes a learning curve and there a plenty of socalled adults who still havnt got it, just dismissing a childs behaviour is the result of poor parenting is totaly wrong.some kids a just a handfull fullstop.im one of the lucky ones mine daughter is good most of the time but i have friends who try so hard with their kids but something just dosnt click. i admit that there are parents who just dont care and let their kids run wild and that is wrong, but to label people as bad parent cause of there kids behaviour is naive.

 

[bikeypikey]

Don't they put something in some sugary drinks that makes kids hyper nowadays that we never had in drinks when we were kids? That could explain a lot!

Cheers,

Pikey.

 

[marthruxton]

I have a friend that has been a Special Education counsular for 30 years. Her feeling is that todays parents take no responsibility in raising sub units. They feel it is always someone elses job to correct them. she feels that they completely dump it on the schools and the schools legally cannot do much other than pass them back to the parents.

I am 59 years old. My parents hammered me when I needed it. I feared it when my parents got called in to my school because of what I did or didn't do. Today when the parent gets called in to school, the parent hammers the teacher.
What is wrong with this picture?

 

[T-boy]

I am 59 years old. My parents hammered me when I needed it. I feared it when my parents got called in to my school because of what I did or didn't do. Today when the parent gets called in to school, the parent hammers the teacher. What is wrong with this picture?

Yeah, and let's not forget the old adage, "You just wait 'til your father gets home, mister". A couple of hours felt like days. And when you heard his car come up the driveway, you knew there was going to be hell to pay!

 

[Speed3Chris]

I think it's an overly-simplified solution to a complex problem. Not all bad kids are the result of bad parenting, and not all good kids are the result of good parenting. Many parents do the best they can with kids that are incorrigible. And parenting is not necessarily a thing that comes naturally, many people were never taught and don't know how to learn to control their kids. Hell, many don't even know how to meet their kid's basic needs. I also draw a distinction between a crying baby and a misbehaving child. They are very different things, but to most people they are one in the same.

I am very fortunate to have had a good-natured child, especially since I was a single parent for many years, her mother having left us when my daughter was just five years old and was little use as a mother for years before that. I wouldn't have had the first clue how to deal with a troubled child.

Even though I hate seeing parents who don't make any attempt to control their kids, I also feel sorry for parents who seem to do everything they can to no avail. Their frustration and angst are hard to imagine.

Curious if you believe in the "bad seed" theory? In other words, some kids are pre-disposed to being bad due to their genetic makeup?
Sounds like this is how you feel. I believe that is about 90% parenting and 10% genes. That isn't to say that parents can ordain artistic talent or high math or language skills, but I believe that nurture has more to do with the outcome than genes when it comes to a so called "bad" child. A bad child isn't the same as a dull child either. There are well behaving dull kids as well. Conversely, I do believe high IQ is a genetic anomaly more than nurture...highest IQ's come from average parents...a lottery of brain chemistry between family trees...but without nurture that pre-disposition to high aptitude will never be realized.
At the end of the day, the bad seed theory may explain Jeffery Dahmer but maybe not Charles Manison who was perhaps more abused than anybody I have ever heard of...mother was a whore...beaten relentlessly...small for his age...physically and sexually abused from the cradle...never had a chance. Don't think this was the case with Dahmer....father was a scientist and home life was reported to be relatively normal. Or maybe it wasn't.

 

[Dave]

We live in an age of zero accountability.

 

[strokerlmt]

marthruxton........great great point.....there are so many parents today who have the "no responsibility button near by". it is always someone else's responsibility , problem or farm out the issue to someone else to solve. My parents and my wife and me are responsible and we will do the best we can. I have no patience for parents that want to "hand off" parenting.
LMT

 

[misanthrope]

those of you who think kids should be good all the time ,are you fucking insane.try bringing them up these days with all the outside influences. are you a good and perfect adult every day all day . if you said yes you are lying .a 5yr old dosnt know wtf they are doing half the time.lifes a learning curve and there a plenty of socalled adults who still havnt got it, just dismissing a childs behaviour is the result of poor parenting is totaly wrong.some kids a just a handfull fullstop.im one of the lucky ones mine daughter is good most of the time but i have friends who try so hard with their kids but something just dosnt click. i admit that there are parents who just dont care and let their kids run wild and that is wrong, but to label people as bad parent cause of there kids behaviour is naive.

+1
I like the comments about its not the old days where kids were kids a so forth and parents were parents, respect....yadda yadda yadda. No fuckin kidding in not like the olden days there are way more outside influences now and its tougher to grow up these day than when I was growing up. If there are kids section that are going to be installed at restaurants I would rather hang there, that way I would not have to deal with the numerous prejudices, hang-ups and utter boredom that can accompany an adult.

 

[slowgator]

Parenting can be one of life's biggest challenges and all of us are not cut out to be good parents. Or even parents. Evidence of this is documented throughout this thread. BUT when I'm on my deathbed looking back on my life, I have no doubt that my 3 kids will be my most cherished accomplishments. My life would lack meaning without kids; they truly are the best teachers, IMHO.