A 46 yr love affair is the exception, not the rule these days and times. Lots of fond memories, I'm sure. I'm sure that Cris doesn't want you to quit living but instead to continue on in life and find happiness until you both can reunite again.
I know you feel pain and a loss, and I'm not going to tell you that time will make them go away completely. Time will lessen them however.
You have my sincerest condolences and both of you have my earnest prayers. God Bless!