Man Laws

BonnieLass

Uncensored
Ignorance is no excuse, so help a biker chick out! With no blood brothers to learn from, I'm totally depending on my Rat brothers to teach me the proper man Laws. I'm pretty sure that one Law is:

When forced to occupy a urinal directly next to another dude, thou shalt not look at said dude's member.
 

Sal Paradise

Hooligan
Man Law #6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.
 

KingBear

Hooligan
Man Law: All men must stand while urinating. The only exceptions to this are if you ill and can't stand or you have no legs. Anyone that violates this will be demoted to Man Bitch and your gender will be questioned.
 

Kirkus51

Hooligan
There's over 100 ManLaws?? Waay too many. WomenLaws may have over 100, but ManLwas stop at 100.:cheers:
 
Ignorance is no excuse, so help a biker chick out! With no blood brothers to learn from, I'm totally depending on my Rat brothers to teach me the proper man Laws. I'm pretty sure that one Law is:

When forced to occupy a urinal directly next to another dude, thou shalt not look at said dude's member.

Yep, look at your own so you don't piss all over the floor. There are good reasons for man laws. :nono:

I like the urinals in Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam. Each has a glazed-in image of a fly to improve the aim and decrease the mess. The Dutch are like that.
 

Beaman

Two Stroke
There's always the can for the safest distance (for those that don't obey the shutup and look at this point in the wall rule).
 

KingBear

Hooligan
Couple years ago... I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee. Went into the dark bathroom and decided I didn't need any lights, I'm a man and can pee with my eyes shut well enough. So I got myself situated in front of the can and, once I was confident I was properly aligned, let it go. And wouldn't you know it, the goddamn lid was down. BUT... I would have you know the spot of pee was right smack dab in the middle of that little carpet lid cover!
 

T-boy

Rocker
Per KingBear's experience...manlaw #45. Ladies should always leave the seat up! According to Newton's law it is much easier to put the seat down than it is to lift it up.
 

KingBear

Hooligan
King bear, I'm sure there is a Man Law regarding carpeted toilet lid covers.
Yes, I'm sure there is. It probably reads something like, "It is the woman's responsibility to select the toilet cover and the man's responsibility to pee all over it."
 

Sal Paradise

Hooligan
ManLaws 1-20 more to follow after you pass the quiz-
1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.

2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control

3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her it’s a 6 day waiting period.

4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving his friend’s home)

5. Short shorts have been banned… Unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.

6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.

7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.

8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.

9. When bringing ******* to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.

10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.

11. No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then you’re not a man.

12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.


13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrower puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticeable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.

14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be replayed.

15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.

Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really ****** and the owner doesn’t care about muddy seats.

16. It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.

17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.

18. You poke it you own it.

19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.

20. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. BonnieLass gets married.
 
Last edited:

BlueJ

Blue Haired Freak
20. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. BonnieLass gets married.

Start crying. BonnieLass IS married, and she uses her teeth. :D
 
Top