Fitted my new whizbang clipons. All held together with one big f@#koff allen bolt. "Tighten to 6kg" the piece of paper says. Google that (couldn't be stuffed digging up my old tech conversion book) and it says around 43ft/lb.
Sweet, go out to shed and realise that allen sockets are at work. No way to accurately tension big f@#koff allen bolt. So I apply old shed torqueing scale (ie, "grunts"). I torque big f@#off allen bolt to 2.5 grunts. Seems real nice and real solid. Make note to self to bring home allen sockets from work and check torque on big f@#off bolt.
Go through "ride to work procedure" - done it countless times before...steepish gravel driveway with a gate halfway up to keep in dog who tries to escape. Get bike out, fire up, get shit on, get excited dog inside, ride bike up steepish driveway and park at angle (to the left) on driveway slope, get off bike, go back in and shut gate, let dog out, go out gate locking it behind me, get on bike and f@#off. SOP, no worries.
So with swish new clipons I wheel bike out of shed, turn on fuel, pull choke knob and start bike. Don gear, put dog inside and then open gate. Get on bike and ride up driveway, through gate to where I usually park...and then... suddenly the bike stops dead mid ride. Compression lock kind of stop. I'm flung forward up onto the instruments. Brain screams "WTF!". Left foot searches for and then finds mother Earth. Bike leans downhill to the left, right hand pushes valiantly on ride hand bar to stabilise bike...but the clipon folds down nearly inline with the forkleg! Now the Laws of Physics take over and we all go down in a heap.
F@#k me.
The bike is on it's side on a slope with it's tank lower than the engine. I smell petrol real bad, the ignition is on and I can't get to it. Do you guys know how hard it is to pick up one of these things up from this sort of position, on gravel with smooth soled boots on? Geezus. I'm sure it was only pure embarassment of being sprung by the neighbours that allowed spontaneous "Hulk Fury" energy to kick in and allow me to get the bike uprightish. Whereupon I find the lefthand footpeg is busted (memories of "Monkey Metal" claims flash through brain).
After managing to unlock gate while holding bike I roll bike backwards down hill to shed. Pull f@#king gear off and sulk. Then bodgie pillion peg in place of busted footrest, move swish new clipon back into position and re-torque to 3.5 grunts and gather wits. Dog is going ballistic inside (probably in fits wanting to cock it's leg on me).
Ride to work with the shits. Get allen sockets from workshop and shove in bag before even taking helmet off.
The reason for the stall & tumble? Forgot to turn the f@#ing choke off. What a deadshit.
Now I'm out to the shed to properly torque the big f@#off allen bolt!
Sweet, go out to shed and realise that allen sockets are at work. No way to accurately tension big f@#koff allen bolt. So I apply old shed torqueing scale (ie, "grunts"). I torque big f@#off allen bolt to 2.5 grunts. Seems real nice and real solid. Make note to self to bring home allen sockets from work and check torque on big f@#off bolt.
Go through "ride to work procedure" - done it countless times before...steepish gravel driveway with a gate halfway up to keep in dog who tries to escape. Get bike out, fire up, get shit on, get excited dog inside, ride bike up steepish driveway and park at angle (to the left) on driveway slope, get off bike, go back in and shut gate, let dog out, go out gate locking it behind me, get on bike and f@#off. SOP, no worries.
So with swish new clipons I wheel bike out of shed, turn on fuel, pull choke knob and start bike. Don gear, put dog inside and then open gate. Get on bike and ride up driveway, through gate to where I usually park...and then... suddenly the bike stops dead mid ride. Compression lock kind of stop. I'm flung forward up onto the instruments. Brain screams "WTF!". Left foot searches for and then finds mother Earth. Bike leans downhill to the left, right hand pushes valiantly on ride hand bar to stabilise bike...but the clipon folds down nearly inline with the forkleg! Now the Laws of Physics take over and we all go down in a heap.
F@#k me.
The bike is on it's side on a slope with it's tank lower than the engine. I smell petrol real bad, the ignition is on and I can't get to it. Do you guys know how hard it is to pick up one of these things up from this sort of position, on gravel with smooth soled boots on? Geezus. I'm sure it was only pure embarassment of being sprung by the neighbours that allowed spontaneous "Hulk Fury" energy to kick in and allow me to get the bike uprightish. Whereupon I find the lefthand footpeg is busted (memories of "Monkey Metal" claims flash through brain).
After managing to unlock gate while holding bike I roll bike backwards down hill to shed. Pull f@#king gear off and sulk. Then bodgie pillion peg in place of busted footrest, move swish new clipon back into position and re-torque to 3.5 grunts and gather wits. Dog is going ballistic inside (probably in fits wanting to cock it's leg on me).
Ride to work with the shits. Get allen sockets from workshop and shove in bag before even taking helmet off.
The reason for the stall & tumble? Forgot to turn the f@#ing choke off. What a deadshit.
Now I'm out to the shed to properly torque the big f@#off allen bolt!
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Top song that one. Often hum it to myself during dark days.
